My childhood home has been in my family for over 60 years. Located in the suburbs of San Francisco on a lane with nearly identical houses all around it. They each have a small porch, large square window, and a smaller hexagon portal like window near the garage. Some are…
When my mother died people would say, “I can’t imagine.” The truth is that we don’t want to imagine. It is unfortunate we do this.
There is no up without down. No life without death.
Ignoring this fundamental duality does not allow us to be fully vulnerable.
Currently, all humans…
Lies build the white walls
Walls for card houses
Houses we thought we needed
Needed to fulfill our red white and blue dreams
Dreams not dreamt but sold
Sold in magizines and on TV, a promise to belong
Belonging and safety are the dream
Dream star spangled dreams…
You learned power would make you whole
You learned status would make you whole.
You learned money would make you whole.
You learned that there is not enough for everyone.
You learned that humans should be ordered in a pyramid
You learned to numb vulnerability
You learned that your self worth is an if-then statement
Grief over the death of my mother is different than I anticipated. There is no other experience in my life where I have been so clearly aware that I would never be the same as I was before. They talk about “getting through” hard things. Getting through the grief. Which…
I took a public speaking course in college. I was abysmal. I trembled from head to foot each time I gave a speech. Despite my best intentions, I rambled and never improved substantially.
Now I am an advocate of making spontaneous and public toasts. What changed?
At 25, I wrote…
This is my mother’s journal entry following her mastectomy. She was 35 with stage 4 breast cancer.
February 28th, 1997 has come and gone. It was a lovely, sunny, blue day. Diane, Dee Dee, Jan, and Dave were with me to check in and wish me well. When I woke…
Our society loves simple cliche phrases and happy endings. Reminders that life is unfair, random, and ends in death are hard to grapple with. We are busy and not prepared to make space for something so vulnerable and confusing. This makes supporting someone that is dealing with grief a challenge…
I was wandering the aisles of this beautiful nursery trying to find flowers for the ceremony. Centers for the tables specifically. I entered the store stoic — playing this role of a responsible 25 year old. One that knows how to pick out her mother’s funeral flowers. …